England Simpson: Confession Of A Fat Blerd!

England Simpson: Solid Womens Magazine

2012-02-02T09:28:00.000-08:00

Look ma, No hands! So, I totally forgot about this interview/photoshoot. Mira, Mira! I'm super-young & my interview is short because I didn't have a lot of shit going on... My momma said I need to stop cursing or she'll karate chop me in the throat. I believe her. So, read this, receive this blessing & kick a gopher if ya see one.

Bye,
England "Tick-tock and ya don't stop" Simpson

Open publication - Free publishing - More style

Curve Appeal Culture Magazine (Winter Issue 2012)

2012-01-15T07:27:00.000-08:00

Open publication - Free publishing - More curve appeal

EnglandSimpson.com: Curve Appeal Culture Magazine

2011-12-08T17:56:00.000-08:00

Um, I wanna share Greek yogurt with John Stamos, but in the meantime, my latest musings... Holla Enrique, mi llamo es Inglaterra... what?

EnglandSimpson.com: "Booty So Tight"

2011-11-06T14:29:00.000-08:00

So, my twin sister and I are getting old... really old! We need to settle down & become Basketball Wives.

XOXO,
England

A Pie Emergency!

2011-08-19T05:49:00.000-07:00

Galactus and I would like to say, "thank you."

2011-08-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

www.facebook.com/officiallyengland (and don't watch the video without adding my fan page, because that would make you a jerk, and you don't want to be a jerk, do ya?)

Interview with England Simpson from 'Southern Fried Stings' on truTV.

2011-08-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

This was a cool interview, it made me think of juice... What?

http://blastzoneonline.wordpress.com/2011/08/07/interview-with-england-simpson-of-southern-fried-stings-on-trutv/

England Simpson (Far Left) & the entire 'Southern Fried Stings' crew

One of my favorites... I'm a huge fan of chicken (isn't it obvious?)

2011-07-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

Southern Fried Stings: Chicken Bandit

England Simpson Is A Fatty --Vlog 7

2011-06-12T18:52:00.000-07:00

I like to chase birds and do hoodrat things.

On a more serious note.

2011-06-11T20:28:00.000-07:00

Whaddup gang? It's me, Margaret... England. Sorry, what? Anywho, I'm about to be really serious, so please bare with me.

*Clears throat* There are certain things that I am not at liberty to discuss, nor do I wish to discuss in a public forum. The only thing

that I ask of you is to please respect that. I have so many things happening in my life right now that are simply amazing. I can't go into details, but I can't wait for you guys to see what I can really do. Hello, my name is England Simpson and I'm an actress. Please get acquainted with me & my work, I have so many projects I'll be working on in the future. http://www.imdb.me/englandsimpson

I love you all, you guys are the best. I can't wait for you to really get to know me.

England "I fight grown men" Simpson

EnglandSimpson.com: "Where's your pants? Do better."

2011-04-06T16:43:00.000-07:00

EnglandSimpson.com - Theo Huxtable vs. Eddie Winslow (Another Simpson Si...

2011-01-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

I like Theo Huxtable and sugar cookies!

XOXO,
England "Make it rain" Simpson

EnglandSimpson.com: My Sisters Look Way Better Than Me!

2010-11-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

Mayim Bialik, I stole your shirt!

The Sisters (Minus One)

2010-11-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

My sisters and I are mildly insane! Please enjoy this video we made for you.

Eazy-E

England Simpson Is A Fatty --Vlog #6

2010-11-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

OMG, I haven't lost any weight, but at least I posted a new video... I know it's dark, but you'll be alright.

BEST. INTERVIEW. EVER!!!!

2010-09-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

I recently did an interview with the fine folks at www.damnedsociety.com, it was the best interview I've ever done. Very cool questions, and we even talked about cake... CAKE!!!!

http://damnedsociety.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1091:england-simpson&catid=9:featured-queens&Itemid=143

England Simpson Is A Fatty --Vlog 5

2010-08-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

"You a supastar boy, why you still up in da HOOD?"

2010-08-09T17:29:00.000-07:00

Alright, kids, you know me and you know that I NEVER claim to be "famous" in any way, shape or form... Shit, I have no "fans" or anything like that, what I do have is a bunch of really cool friends who appreciate some of the stuff I make. Thanks guys. So, with that being said, someone emailed me telling me they were my biggest fan. I was stunned, I've never had anyone tell me that, better yet, show me that, so I was flattered. This "fan" then proceeded to ask for free photos of me. I very politely tell him to check out my online shop and snag an autographed photo for $10, hell, this is my job so I can't just freely give away my stuff. Anyway, this guy continues to hound me and even asks me for free shirts, etc. Needless to say, I started having my suspicions. A real fan would have no problem supporting me by buying something from the shop if they really wanted it, a real "fan/supporter" would have seen some of my work, so I ask him:

Me: "How long have you been into my craziness?"

Dude: "For years now."

Me: "Really? Have you seen some of my stuff? What have you seen?"

Dude: *crickets*

Me: "Oh, well, you've probably ran into me at a convention or something. Is that it?"

Dude: *fucking crickets*

Alright, well, that solved that problem but now it got me thinking... Do I have any real supporters? The answer? Yeah, I do, but Douchy McDouchebag is not one of them. Just because you pop a few knuckle babies off of my pictures on the internet does NOT make you a "fan." I mean, I'm flattered that he thinks I'm hot, but don't claim to be something you're not.

Diary of this mad black woman, lol, this snazzy pic was taken by my dear friend, Erin L. Hubbs. HOLLA!

Smell ya later,
England "Mad Black Woman" Simpson

England Simpson Is A Fatty --Vlog 4

2010-07-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

Sistah Simpson: A Chilling Tale About The Simpson Sisters...

2010-06-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

Yep, that's what people call us The Simpson Sisters.**

**Wait, before I get into this, I gotta explain the name "Sistah Simpson." My mother was convinced that she'd be the next Joe Jackson and she tried to form a singing group with us. Lucky for her, we are all very passionate about music and we all sing and play instruments, so she thought that she'd form the group SISTAH SIMPSON. The name and idea was so lame that we picked at her and we continue to poke fun at her a decade later. The End.

Okay, so, I have 3 sisters, one of which is my twin sister. We are freakishly close and we like to eat and be the best of friends. SO... We play this game where we rate ourselves in different areas (i.e. -Best driver, worst dresser, etc.)... Needless to say, feelings can get hurt, but for the most part we know each other well enough that our system is flawless. So, I found out where my talents lie while sitting at a Chinese buffet yesterday. Here's how I score:

Best Driver:
Ingrid (Far right, my twin sister): She follows the speed limit and is a very skilled driver.
India (Second from left, my younger sister): Even though she hasn't been driving as long as us, she's way more comfortable than we were when we first started driving.
Paris (Third from left, my eldest sister): A few years ago Paris was in a bad accident, a woman was putting on makeup and struck my sister's car. My sister spent a lot of time in the hospital, this has made her paranoid about driving, even overly cautious.
England (That's me, snitches): I'm last in this category. Apparently I have a lot of road rage, I speed and NO ONE feels safe riding with me... This is true. I should do better and I plan to.

Smartest Simpson (For the record we are ALL way above average):
England: Wow, my sisters think I'm well read and my passion for history is undeniable.
India: Ingrid and India were tied, but Ingrid believes that she has the memory of a fish, so she gave India the second spot.
Ingrid: She's a smarty, but I think she has a mental disorder, LMAO!
Paris: Sometimes she doesn't exercise common sense. No bueno.

Best Hair:
England: Apparently the texture of my hair is amazing. :)
Paris: Her hair is so long and thick, but she rarely does it.
India: She is the most stylish of us all, and she keeps her hair hooked up, but she doesn't like the texture of her hair.
Ingrid: Ingrid has "Color Purple" hair, very nappy and unmanageable. I have nappy hair, but Ingrid...Oh BOY!

So, what have I learned about myself? I'm a horrible driver, but I'm smart and I have good hair. Nonetheless, my sisters also think I have a terrible sense of style. Damn, I feel sorry for my dad...

England "Lady Snowblood" Simpson

EnglandSimpson.com: Check out this zombie trailer... WooHoo! I love Zombies!

2010-05-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

Oh, you thought I was kidding? Hit me with you best shot.

2010-04-20T18:03:00.001-07:00

So, I'm totally stealing a page from the Fish Live play book. Back when our show was broadcast we'd get dozens of letters and emails, most of them were cool, but then we'd get our fair share of hate mail. We thought these people we so pathetically funny, that we decided to feature their hate mail on our show. I'm gonna start doing this with this blog, but unfortunately I can't find any mail directly aimed at me, so I thought I'd post a video clip from Southern Fried Stings, enjoy!!!

Dude, I'm totally craving some meat with some sort of gravy sauce combo...

2010-04-11T18:02:00.001-07:00

So, I haven't posted in a while, and that was not a personal choice, needless to say, I have so much I need to get off of my chest. As you guys know, I'm kinda lazy. Sometimes I don't like using my big girl words, so I just make lazy lists of all of my thoughts, so here goes:

1.) My show, Southern Fried Stings, is premiering April 12th @ 10 p.m. on truTV. You guys need to watch this because it's real, hard-hitting and has a little comedic relief in it. So watch it!

2.) Lately, I find myself receiving a whole host of friend requests on all of my social networking sites (I'm talking over 100 in a day, so here are a few things my friends should know about me (shit, another list):
A.) I NEVER, EVER take myself seriously. I'm always making a joke (usually about food or poo), so if you have NO sense of humor, then my personality will bug the hell out of you... Just sayin'.
B.) I know I'm a fatty! I think it's funny that I'm fat. So insulting me by calling me a fatty will not work. Actually, I rarely get offended, so you'd really have to go hard to get a rise out of me.
C.) My family is so cool! I talk about my family a lot... Can you imagine, there are 4 more women in the world that look and act JUST LIKE ME!!! Spooky, scary.
D.) I'm what you call a BLERD--Black Nerd, so I'm into all things geeky! I love Sci-Fi, Anime, Horror, HORROR, HORROR, gaming, movies and off-beat comedies like: Tim And Eric, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and The Mighty Boosh. Oh, and I love going to conventions and sometimes I cosplay. If you understood that last sentence, then you are the bomb-dot-com.

3.)Fish Live 2010. For all you fanboys and gals out there, the Fish Live girls are making a comeback, stay tuned for the dirty details.

England "Make it rain" Simpson

I could really go for some pie right now: A reflection of 2009.

2009-12-28T08:56:00.001-08:00

So, you guys know that I LOVE reflecting on my life when the New year/my super-hot birthday approaches. In 2008 I kinda posted two blogs... one entry came earlier that year, simply because I had loved ones dropping like celebrities... Unfortunately this year was no exception. My fathers' baby (emphasis on BABY) sister passed away suddenly a week before Thanksgiving. I had a few more distant relatives pass on, as well as, a family friend. Oh goodness, death was working his fingers to the bone; but unlike 2008, 2009 found me more prosperous.

I've been working like a mad woman and it has paid off. I have a handful of projects dropping in 2010. Also, my company has been working really hard this year. We are finally starting to see the fruits of our labor and we have a monster line-up in store for Twenty 10. Yeah, I'm too cool to use 2010. Wh-aat?!?

So, my only regret for 2009 is music related. I haven't been happy in that aspect of my career. Music is my life, and I haven't been focusing on it like I should. In Twenty 10 things will be different; they have to be, or I'll lose my mind. Also, my web presence in 2009 reflected how much I was working. I hardly blogged or updated my site, but that will all change, I promise.

Um, yeah, that about wraps it up!

XOXO,
England a.k.a. Baby Killa

England Simpson Is A Fatty-- Vlog 3

2009-09-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL4JE8KqW9w

Maybe I'm meant to be a fatty, let me know what you think...

What would you do?

2009-09-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

Where is John Quiones, I have a scenario for him! This really happened to me a few nights ago, and I feel horrible.

A little fair-skinned, blonde kid was running through my neighborhood. It was dark and we were the only souls left wandering the street. At first he gives me a vacant stare as I pass by, then he begins waving his arms frantically. Naturally I sped away; my little Yaris going 80 down the street... After a few moments my nerves calmed, I suddenly realized that this wasn't Children Of The Corn and this kid probably needed my help.

I go back to find him and he's not there. I search the street high and low, nothing. So, what would you have done? Am I the only horror fanatic who automatically thinks the worst?

Don't judge :)
England

England Simpson Is A Fatty--Vlog 2

2009-08-28T11:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynLOtMlSmmM

Interview with actress England Simpson (someone should tell him I'm a nobody, lol).

2009-08-17T06:28:00.000-07:00

REPOST FROM IMM BLOG:

Indie Movie Masters Podcast Episode 2 featuring England Simpson
Indie Movie Masters Podcast Episode #2 is here! In this episode we visit with actress/model/independent producer England Simpson. The interview covers her career, including her film roles, her modeling endeavors, and her producing activities.This is a great interview with a very talented individual based out of Charlotte, NC, with alot of insights for those who are working in a professional manner within the indie movie world.

Click here to listen to the podcast or download! You can also subscribe to the new podcast series as an RSS feed here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/IndieMovieMasters

Click here to get the episode via iTunes!

England Simpson Is A Fatty!

2009-07-17T06:06:00.001-07:00

Ha, but I already knew this, ya goof... Anyway, so I've decided to take a proactive step in maintaining my fatty-fat-fattness. Well, with a little help from fellow actress, Monique Dupree. We've both been "vlogging" about our weight loss experiences. This has turned into something very huge! So, join us...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auup2at_2aA

**Important Note-- Make sure you start with the video before this one (the one I'm responding to).

Cakes, pies, chicken and pies
England

Sk8 Magic Trailer

2009-07-06T12:11:00.000-07:00

Paris (my sister) and I filmed this movie ages ago. It was filmed on 35mm (for all you A/V geeks out there) and we had oh so much fun making it. Check out the trailer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4hPg_k0Aks

I love you all,
England

England Simpson: "I've been eatin' biscuits since 1982."

2009-06-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

*chuckles* Where do I come up with this stuff? I dunno. So, what's new? I'll tell you what's new, I have made a vow NEVER to wear button down shirts again. My breast can not support them.

On an unrelated note, I've gone back to my original lover... MUSIC! We have a date this Sunday, I gotta pick up a new microphone. It's nothing too serious, we are just testing the waters but when I have something tangible (or audible) I'll make sure I drop you guys a line...

Um, yeah. That's it. Oh, thanks to all of you fine folks who came out and saw me and the HQ crew at ConCarolinas. We made some money, met some new friends... It was a good weekend.

Repost: Beauty And Scream

2009-05-28T12:50:00.001-07:00

So, I had the pleasure of shooting with Erin L. Hubbs of Greendoor Imaging, and she blogged about our experience here: http://erinlhubbs.blogspot.com/2009/05/beauty-and-scream.html

And yes, everything she says is true!

It's ALIVE, it's ALIVE!!!

2009-05-21T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ha, finally got that facelift for my website, www.englandsimpson.com! Big ups to the web designer, Teresa Baranowski at www.cltwebwerx.com she did a phenomenal job! Ya know, she also did www.harlequinns.net! Holla!

They call me Benny-B!

Dear Music,

2009-05-04T10:18:00.001-07:00

I know it's been a while, and I am sorry for the neglect. People are often surprised when I tell them that we've been married for years, usually questioning me as though I made our relationship up. You are my first true love, and you will always be my first true love. I know things have slowed down for us, I know that I've been treating you like you are nothing to me... but you are my everything. I still cry when I hear you, my heart aches for the relationship we used to have.

I'm making a vow. I will not blame other's for what's lacking in our life, I will pursue "us" like I did years before. You are no longer the last thing that describes me, you are the first. I love you, because your are England Simpson. You are the personification of "me," and for that I am in debt to you.

England

I hope I do not get into trouble!

2009-04-28T10:21:00.001-07:00

I had to post this picture. This is a promotional picture of a new thing we are doing... Who is "we?" None of your business. Actually, I don't want to explain, because I have nothing to show you but this picture... However, I do want to point out how Heather used the best picture of herself. You know what I'm going to say [Heather], so DO IT!

I was working out the other day...

2009-04-23T14:07:00.001-07:00

...and I passed out! I'm fine, I bounced right back and finished the class, but my pride was hurt. Lol, now this is funny because of the way I fell. It was so unflattering. No graceful fall to the floor, no ma'am, no sir. I made a fatty grunt and slid to the floor. So? Why am I telling you this? I dunno, felt like giving you a story and no updates.

Yeah.

England aka E.Honda
-p.s-I'm riding Twitter like a $2 whore, you can follow my updates just on the right side of your screen -----> ------> ------->

OR go to www.twitter.com/englandsimpson

England Simpson: Oatmeal eating weirdo

2009-03-31T09:58:00.000-07:00

Yeah, oatmeal has been my lunch and dinner for the past three days now, not by choice but by necessity. No worries, that will change in April... Okay, so the reason behind this blog? I think I'm gonna let this one be a rare one, where I vent and release a little hate from my heart...

So, I can't stand a hater. I was called to do a project and apparently they hated everything about me (and found this out AFTER hiring me to do it) so they tried to let me go. Okay, no biggie. I'mma big girl, literally, and I got other stuff going on... *Side note, shameless self-promotion ahead* like: Ill Times being released in April, New shoot for HQ... in April, Runway show in August, Pilot for a sitcom in May and ConCarolinas in May. I'm busy... But they try to fire me from a modeling gig.

Now, if you are a model your port pretty much let's everyone know how you look, etc. So, why book me for something and then meet me in person and hate on me SO MUCH that you want to give me grief? I dunno. Long story short, they ended up asking me to come back, because the higher-powers requested me personally. Ha! Boo you! Now, question is... Should I be petty and not do it, or should I swallow my pride and realize a good opportunity? I'm taking the high road, I'm doing it.

Wow, such a relief! I would like to thank all 4 of you for listening.

In love and death,
England

See? Told'ya I'd bounce back!

2009-03-10T10:12:00.001-07:00

So, I started a new job the other day. And by other day I mean a week ago, but I haven't updated in a minute. Thing is, I wasn't sweating the small stuff. I knew that I'd get a job within a month of being let go... and I did. Also, I just wrapped on the Mark Baranowski film, Ill Times. I had a blast filming the feature! I encourage everyone to check it out at www.myspace.com/ill_times

Hm, what else? Ooh, ooh! I have a few photoshoots coming up AND I'm going to be doing a runway show this summer. Now, first off, I'm not a runway model, I mainly do print. So what was I thinking when I signed on to do this show? I dunno. But definitely come and see me make a fool of myself.

Real Talk, that's it. I have nothing new going on... so, yeah! Oh, to all of you con goers, don't miss out on the biggest con of the year, ConCarolinas. I'll be there, so come see me. I will be selling a few photos, kickin' a few babies. Ya know how I do.

XOXO,
England

I ain't dead, just unemployed!

2009-02-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

So, the vicious sting of unemployment has bitten yet again! I went through this over a year ago, and it was absolutely brutal. This time around I've been staying busy with my acting/production work. Needless to say, some of my "industry" friends believe that it's a sign from the film Gods... They claim that I need to start acting, full-time. Um, yeah, I have bills... a gig here, a photoshoot there, is not going to pay them. I need steady work.

Now, I know what you're thinking. And I didn't go Shanane' on anyone and got fired. No, no. I was doing my job plus one, and made it my mission to point that out. Now, here I am. Regardless, THE GREATER CAROLINAS CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN RED CROSS, wasn't paying me that much.

In other news, I start pre-production on a project this weekend. It's gonna be a heavy one, but you'll be able to buy it off of Amazon, and judge for yourself.

Ahhh! Real Monsters!
England

Um, stop getting married/having babies post

2009-01-22T12:08:00.000-08:00

Yeah, almost ALL of my childhood friends are either A.) Getting hitched, B.) having a baby. This is bad. I still feel as if I'm too young to spell baby. I just broke up with the only guy I've ever had a serious relationship with, and to top it off, the whole "too selfish and naive to be a wife/mommy," is still in full effect. That feeling of, "omigod, I don't want to screw up someone else's life," is supposed to wear off, but it has yet to do so.

I like being spontaneous, making movies and head-banging WAY too much to be wifey. Hm, now if only my peers felt the same way, I feel guilty because I'm definitely NOT trying. My mom will never have grand children. Oh, oh... before I tell people how old I am they say, "Oh, I'm sure you have plenty of time..." Then I pop 25 on them... "Ooh, you need to get on top of that!"

Lady J

The Cat is out of the bag!

2009-01-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

I will be a guest at ConCarolinas 2009. Yeah, let that soak in. Now this news is coming from the girl who doesn't take herself too seriously... So if any of you see me at the convention, May 29-31 in Charlotte, N.C., then I will be among the other fans, forgetting that I'm a guest! Lol, maybe I'll catch up on a mean game of Magic: The Gathering! So, come see me, I'll be there selling stuff, meeting all 6 of my fans :)
http://www.concarolinas.org/guest/guestview.php?gid=94

25

2008-12-17T06:12:00.000-08:00

"24," Switchfoot:

24 oceans
24 skies
24 failures and 24 tries.
24 finds me in 24th place with 24 dropouts at the end of the day.
Life is not what I thought it was-24 hours ago, Still I'm singin spirit take me up in arms with you. And I'm not who I thought I was 24 hours ago, Still I'm singing spirit take me up in arms with you. Its 24 reasons to admit that I'm wrong. With all my excuses, still 24 strong.
You see I'm not coping out, not coping out, not coping out- when your raising the dead in me.

Yeah, I'm about to turn 25 and that is my sentiment of my 24th year on Earth. I'm not saying I didn't get stuff done, but I feel like a failure when I can't afford to buy food or gas. Seriously, I make pennies at my job, no one believes me... Nonetheless, I did accomplish some good this year! Now, I may not be able to recall it all, but I've done something that is noteworthy... When I know what it is I'll let you know. In the meantime, this isn't me being suicidal, lol, never that! Just pissed at how my career choices are coming back to haunt me.

"Please God, I need change like I need water. Let 25 find me well..."

-England

Okay you're a goon, but what's a goon to a goblin?

2008-12-03T06:52:00.000-08:00

So, I'm ready to follow my sister's lead and put in my two weeks. Real talk (that is Ingie's new saying)? I'm doing too much work for what I'm getting paid. Yeah, I make more money doing freelance work than I do with this. This is pathetic, and they know it. They, my employers, have the option to change this, but they neglect to do so...

Yeah, this is getting old. I was in such a foul mood today, I didn't come in on time. I dared them to say something! With what you are paying me? You'd better not say a damn word!

The End. Rant over! Oh, but for any of you just tuning in, this blog is designated for all of my randomness. If you want the up-to-date on any project I'm in, then head over to my Myspace page, and read on.

Tomorrow, we ride! Yeah, I stole that from Heather... Wanna fight about it?

Eazy-E

Here's the thing.

2008-11-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I can be a girlie, girl. I'll talk about hair and makeup, and I still try and be sexy for my boyfriend. Now, my boyfriend and I have known each other for 3 years... So, why in the hell do I still try and look sexy for his geeky ass? I dunno. It's the girl in me.

Anyway, the girlie, girl in me was conversing with a group of women about hair. As some of you know, I'm going natural. That means I NO LONGER CHEMICALLY STRAIGHTEN MY HAIR, Tairy breath, it'll be okay. If you and Ingrid would've came up with that perm pill I wouldn't have had to do this. Okay... So, it has been about 5 months and I think my hair looks pretty good. I should take a picture so that you guys can see it.

That's it. That's all I wanted to blog about.

Cranking the car, closing the garage door.
England

Big Momma's House of Payne

2008-11-12T08:27:00.000-08:00

It's been nice the past couple of days. My partner in crime, Ingrid, has been M.I.A. from work and we've been chillin' like villans. Anyway, we we're watching Tyler Perry's, "Diary of a Mad Black woman, Part Deux" and a thought came to Ingrid.

Ingrid: "You know what's really sad, most cultures do not have a "Big Momma" type of character to regulate things. I think every culture should have a Big Momma, crime would go down..."

Me: "Well, our culture is running out of Big Momma's! Remember ****** she was a grandmother by 32, stuff like that is crazy. Big Momma's are a dying breed; but I agree every culture should have a Big Momma."

Me: "How would a white Big Momma look like?"

Ingrid: "Tyler Perry, except she'd be white."

Then our younger sister, India, told us to kill ourselves, so we both drank cyanide...

XOXO,
England

Shhh...its a secret.

2008-10-21T06:51:00.000-07:00

I want to be in a band again. Yep, I do. I remember mentioning in one of my blogs that its like getting out of a relationship and then diving head first into another one. That's how I feel like, but I miss playing music and going ape sh**. I'm a mess when I'm on stage. Too bad I didn't get a chance to really rip up a stage.

For those of you just tuning in, I used to be lead singer of two hardcore bands. 1.) Crimson Fairytales (which ended because we were all in college and we had to prioritize our lives). 2.) Opiate Mother (which ended because our guitar player was accepted into law school. Which, btw, those bitc... nevermind.)... Anyway, its been almost a year since I've been in a band, and I'm so anxious to do it. I'm recording with two really great producers, but its not my own stuff. Which sucks, because I can never find any committed players to help me write.

Such is life.

XOXO,
England

50, or 36, things I want to do before I leave this life...

2008-10-16T06:28:00.000-07:00

I was trying to clean my room and I found a list of things I wanted to do before I die... I had written this bad boy years ago, and I only got up to 36. Anywho, I looked back at the list and I was lucky enough to cross some things off. So I'm gonna show you the list, and the stuff in red has been accomplished.

1.) Get Drivers license.
2.) Graduate college.
3.) Make my momma rich then buy her a house without air conditioning.
4.) Learn to play the Japanese bamboo flute (own one).
5.) Learn to play violin.
6.) Become a success in television.
7.) Become a success in music and acting (entertainment).
8.) Own a few businesses (clothing store & novelty shop).
9.) Learn a form of martial arts.
10.) Own a lot of property.
11.) Learn another language (preferably Japanese, Cantonese, or Mandarin).
12.) Lose a lot of weight.
13.) Buy a house with Ingrid.
14.) Buy two puppies. (No more pets for me, it hurts too much)
15.) Make a few Lifetime movies (about my family).
16.) Meet Chris, Billy and other major, hot sexy husbands.
17.) Go to a Xena convention.
18.) Develop and make my own anime.
19.) ???
20.) Travel to Japan, Greece, and other “old countries” & learn their cultures.
21.) Hear fans singing the lyrics to one of my songs. (Its happened, but not in the capacity that I would have liked. I'm still flattered as hell!).
22.) Meet all of my favorite artist/musicians.
23.) Get George W. Bush out of office. (Change is coming).
24.) Learn to throw a chakram (own one).
25.) Actually get the tattoos that I want.
26.) Stay connected with true friends.
27.) Tell Oprah that she is my Momma, and Lawrence that he is my Dad.
28.) OMITTED.
29.) Tell other people what I think of them without hurting their feelings.
30.) Develop the idea/storyboards for all of our/my music videos.
31.) Make “Pinch” one of the best sounding bands (and successful) in the world. (This was even before "Pinch" changed its name to Crimson Fairytales, then we broke up).
32.) Get laser hair removal done for my body so that I won’t have to shave anymore.
33.) Show up at a class reunion and curse everyone out.
34.) Buy the complete series of all of my favorite shows on DVD.
35.) Star in a Quentin Tarantino film.
36.) Independently make “Fish” a national public access hit! With a cult following and everything. (We could've made this happen. Seriously!).

XOXO,
England

My interview with www.horrorsociety.com

2008-10-10T05:55:00.001-07:00

Read our article at www.horrorsociety.com
Its true! The crew at www.horrorsociety.com spoke with the H hearts J team, which brought you www.harlequinns.net, about their new alternative modeling website. To read the full article click here: http://www.horrorsociety.com/2008/10/09/harlequinns-dot-net/
Anywho, the same website will be interviewing me! All of that is coming next week. I'm stoked... So be sure to check out their website, and browse around... They have some wicked content on there.

XOXO,
England

NEW PROJECT!!!!

2008-10-09T05:41:00.000-07:00

People often ask, "Why do you call the movies you film "projects"?" Its simple. I'm not hood enough to call them films. I feel like a diva when I say, "I'm working on a new film." Shit, I work at the Red Cross... That's neither here nor there...

I'm filming a new project called, Tragedy to Triumph, and for all of you local folk it will be premiering at the Ballantyne theatre on November 9th, 6:00. So ya'll come see me!
Anyway, I play a lawyer and I'm a real pistol whip, so if you want to hear more about the project, then check out the official Myspace page: www.myspace.com/tragedytotriumph, add it as a friend, and watch me do what I do!

XOXO,
England

Draven Skye Photography

2008-10-01T05:32:00.001-07:00

Yeah, boy! I had a shoot with a fabulous photograher, Draven Skye, she brought the "horror actress" out of me. So go to my MySpace photo albums and take a look-see.I will be adding the rest of our set to my new website, http://www.englandsimpson.com

XOXO,
England

The Buzz about the Grinder movie AND new photos coming soon!

2008-09-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

So, I heard (from a little birdie) that Grinder producers have attached yet another big name to the mix. I can't confirm nor deny this, but check out their official website, for cast details. BTW, Grinder is a new horror project that I'm slated to be in, so just in case you didn't know...
In other news, I just had a fabulous photo shoot with photographer Draven Skye. She really brought the "kink" out of me, lol... So get ready to judge. So, I've sort of stumbled into this "modeling" thing when a photographer asked to shoot me. So, if you are a photographer, needing a gorgeous plus model, then hit me up by email and I'll be sure to contact you back.

England

Pimped in the Pulpit: Its a wrap!

2008-09-22T05:50:00.001-07:00

I just finished production on a short project called, Pimped in the Pulpit. I was shooting in Spartanburg, SC, and I had a blast! Thanks for all of the southern hospitality; I can't wait to see the finished product.

I'll holla!
England

dot com

2008-09-16T05:51:00.001-07:00

I have a new website, www.englandsimpson.com, yeah, I finally got me a website. Now, here's the thing, its not up yet. So don't get your panties in a twist. It'll be up and running by October... hopefully!

England

A New Band?

2008-09-15T05:57:00.000-07:00

So, producers are telling me I need to hook-up with a new band. They say that I need to hire them, and control the whole songwriting/performance process. I don't wanna. Its like jumping into a new relationship after you break up with your boyfriend of a year. I just can't jump head first into that. I'm good at making new friends, but its SO tiring. Nonetheless, I need some musicians who will be just as committed as me.

Blah, bleh, blah
England

My celeb doubles

2008-09-09T13:27:00.001-07:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Family website - Free family tree

FREE AUTOGRAPHED PHOTOS!!!!!

2008-09-09T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hey, do you want an autographed photo of me? Listen, I know I'm a nobody, but I have many headshots to give away. So, if you want a free photo of me for your voodoo collection, or to just throw darts at, then drop me an email (including your mailing address) and I'll send it to you.... postage on me!

Love ta love ya,
England

Hey there Delilah: A commentary on this awful, awful summer...

2008-09-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

This summer has been filled with swollen eyes and broken hearts. As many of you know, my grandmother died just a month ago. My family is SUPER CLOSE, so this wasn't just some relative that I barely knew. I, not only loved my grandma, but I liked her. Her passing was really tough for my entire family. Goofy Goobers could not figure out why I was so distraught by her passing, and I couldn't figure out why many people didn't view their family members as their best friends. You ask anyone who knows me, and they'll tell you that my family members are my best friends. So, I lost a grandmother and a dear friend. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
To top off these disgusting three months I had to put down my dog, Delilah, yesterday. Now, I'm NOT just a dog owner... My dogs are my babies; with great personalities I can't see how anyone wouldn't be fanatically attached to their pet(s). Well, I definitely was... So, when we put her down, yesterday, my sisters' and I were acting a straight fool. No one knew why we had swollen eyes and broken hearts. *I'm getting emotional just thinking about it.*
Someone even suggested, "She's just a dog..." Um, I've almost killed someone over my dogs. I took a samurai sword and threatened a neighbor, who was high on that "ooh-wee!", because he was messing with my dogs. In most cases, I care more about the well-being of an animal than a human... So, yeah. I'm through.

Can't stop thinkin' about your dad

2008-09-09T07:47:00.000-07:00

I'm not satisfied. Life, in general, is going well, but this mediocre existence is killing me. I need more than what I'm getting out of BOTH of my careers. I'm getting tired of: filming 2-3 projects a month, recording, and other things. I don't need another thing added to my resume as filler, I need something to take me to the next level. Something tangible that is amazing.
When I get like this I start wanting to network like a mad woman. Such is life.

Btw, if you don't know where my subject line came from then you are seriously missing out! Its from Tim and Eric Awesome show Great Job, and it comes on every Sunday night on Adult Swim

England

A Warrior's Epic 2004-2007

2008-09-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

You guys, I could NEVER figure out how to log in to my old blog. Aw, how I miss it so. So, this is my new blog. I will be importing stuff from my personal MySpace blog, as well as, adding new material here. So, enjoy!

England

Check me out in other places:
www.myspace.com/englandsimpson
http://englandsimpson.tripod.com/
http://www.harlequinns.net/
www.myspace.com/fishlivetv
www.myspace.com/harlequinns
http://www.facebook.com/